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Off My Game

Along with my fellow humans, I find myself reflecting in these early, frigid days of January. This time around, reflecting is tougher than usual it seems. 2016, particularly the second half, wasn't so hot. As I ponder it, I feel as though I spent most of the fall semester apologizing for why I didn't have myself together, both at home and at work. Seems that I did a lot more "I'm so sorry" that usual. "I'm off my game!" I continued to tell my husband and my colleagues and my students. 

I don't know why. 

However, now that 2017 has arrived in a warm-then-chilly-and-soon-to-be-warm-again way (thanks, Texas weather), it's high time I adjust my attitude and revise my systems and get to work.

At home, I accomplished some big projects. I finally opened some remaining boxes from our long-ago move, and I organized and decorated the front room of our house. It was summer, and I was relieved to get that overdue job completed. Since, though, I dropped other responsibilities and continually nagged my family to help. "Why am I the only one who cleans around here?" I questioned annoyingly. Seems that nagging stuff doesn't always result in results... So, 2017, I resolve to try other methods. Yesterday, I worked with my kiddos in their loft-o-fun, and together, we filled three containers of toys, books, and games we no longer need. We decided that other kids could enjoy those things since we'd outgrown them, and we've got them packed for donation. Cooperating helped. I'll try it again.

At work, I started the school year overwhelmed and in deep water already with a student teacher added to my responsibilities. Folks always talk about how great having a student teacher is, and there were times when I really was able to get a few things accomplished because I wasn't the main instructor for the day, but overall, it was one of the most challenging experiences of my career. Mentoring a new teacher stirred a deep obligation in me. I wanted to be sure that he was able to spread his wings and take risks and try all that he'd ever envisioned educating to be in a safe, comfortable space. In the end, I'm pretty sure that I simply scared him from the profession. I'll always wonder if he goes on to teach. As of now, I do not know.

Being out of my teaching role for the long period of time I was, I now feel behind with all of my students. I feel like I just didn't do enough with them, and we are concluding our course this week. I hopped back in with this new multi-genre piece idea, thinking they were ready to fly, and they weren't. They weren't used to me or my expectations - or the freedoms I like to offer students - and many are now struggling. Some have taken off, but others aren't even out of the hanger yet. It's gonna be a rough week.

So, 2017, I'm ready to begin a new course with a new crop of students in a week. I pledge to plan diligently with my team and be intentional is all the things we do. I commit again to growing readers, writers, and thinkers. We will Fish Bowl on Fridays. We will read daily. We will write daily. And we'll get back to blogging.

And so will I. 

I'll be back on my game, 2017!

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